Sunday, February 26, 2012

Live Blogging from the Academy Awards

6:52: The anticipation is killing me.

This kept me entertained during the Grammy's so let's do it again. I will be updating during commercial breaks through out the ceremony with my thoughts on the winners, losers and tackily dressed. So in preparation here are my Oscar predictions...

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Live Blogging from The Dumbass Grammys

This will be the first time I have ever watched the Grammy's because really who gives a shit. I am pretty bored though so I am going to watch it and tell you what I think of what's going on.

10:20 - Can't believe this isn't over yet.

9:52 - Surprise Lil Wayne during horrible Chris Brown performance. Now Foo Fighters are playing. This is supposed to be a tribute to current dance music? I am so confused and annoyed. I wonder how many lattes Dave has had tonight. I thought this was an awards ceremony? There have been like five awards handed out. I can't believe I am missing Walking Dead for this.

9:35 - Bon Iver what about thanking GOD? He wanted you to win best new artist buddy give him his props. Not a big fan of Iver but glad for the win over Scrillex. Real best new artist...

9:16 - Oh man I love Glenn Campbell. There is some weird hipster country pop band performing Gentle on My Mind. These people are really weird looking. I am so sick of watching this show but I am going to keep going because I love communicating with you.

9:10 - Just got done watching Adele perform and it was pretty good. I like her voice more than Amy Winehouse's. So what will it take to hook Adele up with Mark Ronson. That would be pretty tight. Something else that I learned from the 60 Minutes piece is that her new love is 13 years her senior. He also doesn't feel the need to tuck his shirt in at the Grammys.

8:59 - But I would take Taylor Swift over Carrie which I feel even worst about. Modern country is so terrible and all the men have open chested shirts which is grossing me out. Need another beer.

8:56 - I feel guilty for finding Katy Perry so sexually attractive. I would take Carrie Brownstein over her any day though.

8:52 - Adele takes Best Song of the year. Mom's across the world rejoice. What should have won...

8:43 - Taylor Swift evidently just now jumping on the "O Brother Where Out There?" bandwagon. She seems like a positive influence for little girls now that Miley Cyrus has revealed herself as a heathen.

8:33 - Paul McCartney going the Bruce Springsteen route and singing a new song no one cares about. Sounds nice I guess.

8:21 - Maroon 5 and Foster the People. TERRIBLE. Beach Boys songs. GREAT. Mike Love is such a piece of shit but it sure is nice to Brian looking so healthy. RIP Dennis.

8:15 - Foo Fighters win best Rock Performance which is fine I guess. They were up against other rock powerhouses like Mumford & Sons and Coldplay. Oh boy Beach Boys are up next this might be sad.

8:10 - Well this Chipolte commercial is probably way better than anything else that will be on the show.

8:02 - Rhianna and Coldplay performing now. It was tolerable when it was just Rhianna but then Chris Martin ruined it. What do you think Brian Eno does with all his money?

7:56 - Whitney Houston name check count - 3

7:47 - Jack Black just went on about how Foo Fighters still have indie cred. OK. This is the best thing that Foo Fighters have done in the past ten years.

7:37 - Best rap award went to Jay Jizzy and Kanye West, don't like either of them! Should have one: It's a tie! Shabazz Pallaces - Swerve...The Reaping of all that is Worthwhile and Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci.

Kelly Clarkson and some dumb cowboy sang, it was terrible.

7:32 - Applebee's commercial making me hungry.

7:24 - Adele just won an award. I am pretty cool with that after watching her interview on 60 Minutes, she seems like a pretty cool chick. It was revealed that  she worked at Rough Trade Records after winning the Grammy last year to help her music or whatever. Pretty cool.

Chris Brown is performing right now. A great moment for women abusers everywhere. Alright I'll check in at the next commercial break.